Operation Raccoon Eviction

We spent a fun filled night evicting raccoons from Casa de la Raccoon. This sounds evil, but effective without poison, bloodshed, trapping or anything else genuinely cruel. We put the CD player in the attic playing the Beastie Boys (a bit of hardcore punk with a groove) on repeat for hours and hours on end.

Tonight we followed with my husband in the sperm suit and our weed whacker on high tilt. He rigged it so that the trigger was pulled non-stop and lashed it to beams in the attic and let it run to it's heart content. I think they thought Jason must be unleashed - and they have left we believe. I stood at the base with a baseball bat readied in case a raccoon decided to take a piece of the Huz.

I've been gentle, I've been kind - and I know the soft side of me understands that we've invaded their turf and they need better places to safely breed. The former animal volunteer was very hesitant to trap - but if you've ever had raccoons in your attic it is pure misery. They are nocturnal and you feel like you're stuck in the Exorcist with ceiling groans, creaks, wails and twitters.

The raccoons keep getting in because they can rip off chunks of your siding and chew in. Our house has the perfect V - shape over our garage that our neighbors don't have, thus making us a prime choice. It happened last year, and what we realized is that raccoons will keep coming back to the same place. If they've reproduced the babies will come back to breed as they think it is "home." Realize that these guys chew, poop, pee, and are not sole plant eaters. Argh!

This season we had two raccoons get in back to back, enough to drive me insane. I feel like I haven't had a good nights sleep in weeks - tough in my book as once I go to sleep far, far too late I usually have a husband that comes to bed later and wakes me up, a little one that sneaks in the bed in the middle of the night for another wake up, perhaps another little one and then up at 6:15 a.m. With the raccoons going all night I've been staring at the ceiling - and getting so frustrated that I'm whacking the walls with a hanger and barking like a pit bull. But I digress.........

We think we've safely evicted them. Finally! Take that raccoon, and with that I will now curl up with my pillow and hope for a full measure of sleep. This weekend we must put up prevention spikes so that we can remain raccoon free.